Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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