Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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