Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm gonna fight the coyote
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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