He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize