What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
