There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
where are you?
Hypothermia
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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