I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
