So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
