i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
