well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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