Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize