his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo