Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.

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  (608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. http://tfl.nu/1sa0
  Replies (18) Good night (1031) Bad night (2429)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?

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  (267): Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet? http://tfl.nu/aedp
  Replies (24) Good night (4666) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name

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  (860): so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name http://tfl.nu/f3l4
  Replies (26) Good night (672) Bad night (8463) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.

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  (618): i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette. http://tfl.nu/cqrz
  Replies (38) Good night (1303) Bad night (7131) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.

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  (813): I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester. http://tfl.nu/cawp
  Replies (25) Good night (3057) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't even know what potassium is.

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  (571): You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember? (703): I don't even know what potassium is. http://tfl.nu/wfp6
  Replies (47) Good night (9941) Bad night (896)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

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  (202): the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine. http://tfl.nu/yvwg
  Replies (15) Good night (1058) Bad night (5272) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...

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  (304): Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof... http://tfl.nu/amda
  Replies (4) Good night (984) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.

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  (917): He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat. http://tfl.nu/cst7
  Replies (6) Good night (1297) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?

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  (202): How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers? http://tfl.nu/rzz2
  Replies (7) Good night (1318) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.

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  (647): I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does. http://tfl.nu/q7vv
  Replies (9) Good night (1356) Bad night (388) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to

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  (703): We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to http://tfl.nu/xfm2
  Replies (7) Good night (1726) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,

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  (302): Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers, http://tfl.nu/ct0l
  Replies (2) Good night (383) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.

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  (619): I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible. http://tfl.nu/efx0
  Replies (5) Good night (1213) Bad night (212) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  You texted me a picture of your face along with #help

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  (410): You texted me a picture of your face along with #help http://tfl.nu/jxdb
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt

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