just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!