we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
