Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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