i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can't motorboat a personality
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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