He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
