Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
