Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
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Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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