Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just pee around me
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
