Ambien. No doubt about it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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