I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
