he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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