I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Bring me that man meat
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
