allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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