Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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