They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
