sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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