I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
