I hope mine doesn't look like that
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
