Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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