Nicole vs. Life
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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