I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
