just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
