I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I didn't notice because vodka
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
