i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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