now i know why i became what i already was.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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