you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When are your genitals available?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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