no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
