you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Randomize
