I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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