2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
