Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
