med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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