He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
