So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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