what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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