After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
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So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We are all done wearing pants today
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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