I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
