Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
