well I can't set my house on fire every night
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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