I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
