I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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