I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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