I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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