Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
