Do vagina's smell?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
