Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
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just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
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I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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