Buhtt sex?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
