Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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