so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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