She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
