margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
