chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do vagina's smell?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
