so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he fucked my hip out of place.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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