OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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