he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
