take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
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He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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