I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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